I am moving into a tiny apartment from a slightly larger house. I am having a difficult time thinning out my possessions, clutter, and stacks of old papers. Yesterday, I nearly had a petite anxiety attack. Then, after hours of sorting, I had a thought, and it made me ‘get real’ about my situation. “If I were moving to Paris on Saturday, instead of just moving across town, what would I be taking with me?” I also received a nice little piece of advice for clearing out the clutter: “Would you buy it today?” If not, toss or donate it immediately.
That left me stunned for a few moments and with a new plan of attacking this daunting task of packing up my life and moving it forward. That is really what this is all about. Moving my life forward, from a tedious, dramatic, tumultuous, difficult, past few years toward a brighter, simpler, and quieter present and future. Leaving the past behind can be difficult because of the memories, both good and bad, that are attached to the things and the people who are left behind.
I have a few main areas of excessive accumulation…books, music and movies, papers, wine, clothes, and kitchen stuff. I also have more furniture than I may need.
Let me start with the furniture. I have some new pieces but mostly old, inherited or found pieces make up my collection. I have my two beautiful Borgese mirrored dressers. I have my antique writing desk and chair, a birthday gift from my mother. I have my over-stuffed chair and my antique loveseat. I have my new Japanese inspired armoire ( I traded a box of great wine for it!). I use my two black cabinets as a desk and tuck my file cabinet underneath. I have a French bistro set and my old, kitchen table with two rickety chairs I found. I have a black coffee table my friend Rick gave me but I painted it black, and three other little end tables. I have my dad’s old Navy chest filled with blankets. And then I have a baker’s rack and a butler both given to me by old acquaintances. I have several, wooden, folding bookracks….
That leads me to my books. I have hundreds of books. I have been avidly collecting books since I was a teen. Many are special, but many are simply out dated for who I am today. This is the area, more than any other, where I need to be brutally honest with myself. Books are heavy, and they take up a lot of space. I have way too many books. Can I part with the past? It was always my dream to have a library wall of interesting titles. I can still thin them out. Perhaps, I can keep one or two by category—past interests, and then keep the books pertaining to my current interests. That might not be a bad idea. Think about that for a few hours.
I thinned out my music and my movies and finally put each cd or dvd in a book, getting rid of all those bulky jewel cases. I now have four books of cd’s and three books of dvd’s. Not so bad. I’d actually like to get rid of some of that music. I rarely listen to most of it any more and with I Tunes, I can just get the songs I want. Did I mention that I still have my record collection-1000 albums and a tiny record player? I love them, but they are in my mother’s garage….
Clothes: what can I say? I have way too many clothes and the funny thing is, last summer I went through my clothes and reduced my wardrobe by half! Most of my clothes are business or business casual clothes, which for the last four years, I haven’t had the occasion to wear. With my current job, these clothes are finally out of the closet. But, why do I need six crisp white shirts and six crisp black shirts? I have five pairs of black, side-zip pants…but, not one is the perfect fit. I may just have to invest in a great tailor. I have countless tee shirts. I have weeded out the concert tee-shirts (former career) and gone to strictly solid coloured, ¾ sleeve, boat neck or scoop neck: mostly
black. I love skirts and dresses and I have a good collection that I wear. I have eight pairs of jeans. All fit well and look good. Two pairs of dark, two pairs of slightly faded, one white, one Diesel, one black skinny and one blue skinny. I have an excessive amount of coats…and shoes. I don’t even want to think about my coats and shoes!
My kitchen. I have lovely Le Cruset pans and a set of Farberware saucepans. I have cookie sheets, pie pans, and cake pans….I do bake on occasion. I have every utensil a girl should have. I have the appropriate dishes and glasses, silverware, and glass storage containers. What has to go is all the crazy Tupperware….ok, I have to stop thinking about it…it’s a bit overwhelming and it makes me want to drink more wine…I have become the occasional and temporary alcoholic…(stress related).
Showing posts with label Ma Vie ici. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ma Vie ici. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Shutting out the world for an hour..Part Two
I found her in a little lot near the end of a day driving around with my dad, looking at car after car. Beautiful, cobalt blue, pretty little racing stripes, clean as a whistle, and oh so sexy. She is the exact car I’d been wanting for eight, long years. Finally, with my other car in a totaled mess, now was the time for me to take the plunge and buy my first car payment car. It took four days, but I was finally approved and got to take her home with me on a Monday afternoon. She was perfect.
Friday evening I drove up the mountain to Idaho Springs to celebrate my nephew’s fourth birthday. My friend and I met my brother and his friend in town for a cocktail at a seedy little bar my brother recommended. He cleverly weaseled my keys away from me and announced he would be driving my car to his house, up the canyon…I protested, but realized, he’d do it anyway and I may as well take the path of least resistance. History warned me against fighting him off. If he was going to drive my car, I was going to ride with him…no, I didn’t trust him. Never have….history is telling. My intuition that moment was right. He took off up the winding and icy road toward his house, shifting roughly and hauling ass. I was terrified and asked him to slow it down. He was passing cars and taking the sharpest curves at 70 to 80 miles per hour. He screeched at me to relax, claiming that the car was made to be driven hard like that. As he pulled into his snow packed drive, I cringed. Parked on the other side were my uncle Dennis’ Jeep and my dad’s truck. My brother pulled up hard on the parking brake to spin the car around and as he did it glided smoothly, rear end first, directly into the Jeep. He wrecked my car, of course he did. I was furious! He got out of my car, smiling that sheepish smile and laughing. He said he would take care of it and said he was sorry.
I couldn’t help being angry and sorry is not a simple band-aid.
I went into the house visibly upset and my mom, dad, Dennis, and my brother’s wife all asked what was wrong. I told them, and then Josh came in…he got very angry that I was still angry and asked me to come outside and talk to him. We walked to his entry way and he snapped, screaming at me, and then he physically picked me up and threw me out his door. I was screaming and fighting him off. I was terrified of him; for my safety. I made my way past him and back into the house where everyone else was standing in awe. My brother followed, spewing his venomous anger at me, ranting about things that happened 25 years ago….and not even getting the details correct. He belittled me, humiliated me, physically and verbally abused me, until finally, he said if I didn’t leave he’d call the cops on me. I kept my cool throughout the entire event and invited him to call the cops. Then I went upstairs to apologize to his kids, and his friend’s kids. I apologized to everyone else for the fact that my nephew’s birthday was ruined. I tried to leave. He followed me to my car, prying the door open, and continued to scream at me. At the end of his rant, he evicted me from my home, which I rented from him…typical, and expected.
Within days I discovered that my grandmother was dying of cancer, which was completely unexpected. She was always vibrant, stubborn, strong, and feisty. How could this be happening? I was taken completely off guard. My dad was shattered. The next day we realized that she was much worse off than expected. We left the next morning for a long drive from Denver to McGregor, Iowa. We hit the worst possible weather conditions but we finally made it. We each got a few precious moments with her and made our peace. That night she fell asleep and she never regained consciousness. She died a few days later. I am still in shock by the surrealness of it all.
And now, just a few short weaks later, I am packing up my life to move. Not my choice, and terrible timing. It is amazing how much stuff I have to sort out, thin out, and pack up. I am looking toward the future and I am looking forward to living somewhere new and fresh. I need a clean break and a fresh start. I need a new perspective. I need to let the drama of the past few months slip away. I need to cultivate my secret garden, my own life, my own home, and learn to be myself again. I feel somehow lost, as if I have forgotten who I am and what is important to the true me. I will discover those important things over the next few months, living on my own, with my dog and my cat, in peace and in quite. Solitude.
Friday evening I drove up the mountain to Idaho Springs to celebrate my nephew’s fourth birthday. My friend and I met my brother and his friend in town for a cocktail at a seedy little bar my brother recommended. He cleverly weaseled my keys away from me and announced he would be driving my car to his house, up the canyon…I protested, but realized, he’d do it anyway and I may as well take the path of least resistance. History warned me against fighting him off. If he was going to drive my car, I was going to ride with him…no, I didn’t trust him. Never have….history is telling. My intuition that moment was right. He took off up the winding and icy road toward his house, shifting roughly and hauling ass. I was terrified and asked him to slow it down. He was passing cars and taking the sharpest curves at 70 to 80 miles per hour. He screeched at me to relax, claiming that the car was made to be driven hard like that. As he pulled into his snow packed drive, I cringed. Parked on the other side were my uncle Dennis’ Jeep and my dad’s truck. My brother pulled up hard on the parking brake to spin the car around and as he did it glided smoothly, rear end first, directly into the Jeep. He wrecked my car, of course he did. I was furious! He got out of my car, smiling that sheepish smile and laughing. He said he would take care of it and said he was sorry.
I couldn’t help being angry and sorry is not a simple band-aid.
I went into the house visibly upset and my mom, dad, Dennis, and my brother’s wife all asked what was wrong. I told them, and then Josh came in…he got very angry that I was still angry and asked me to come outside and talk to him. We walked to his entry way and he snapped, screaming at me, and then he physically picked me up and threw me out his door. I was screaming and fighting him off. I was terrified of him; for my safety. I made my way past him and back into the house where everyone else was standing in awe. My brother followed, spewing his venomous anger at me, ranting about things that happened 25 years ago….and not even getting the details correct. He belittled me, humiliated me, physically and verbally abused me, until finally, he said if I didn’t leave he’d call the cops on me. I kept my cool throughout the entire event and invited him to call the cops. Then I went upstairs to apologize to his kids, and his friend’s kids. I apologized to everyone else for the fact that my nephew’s birthday was ruined. I tried to leave. He followed me to my car, prying the door open, and continued to scream at me. At the end of his rant, he evicted me from my home, which I rented from him…typical, and expected.
Within days I discovered that my grandmother was dying of cancer, which was completely unexpected. She was always vibrant, stubborn, strong, and feisty. How could this be happening? I was taken completely off guard. My dad was shattered. The next day we realized that she was much worse off than expected. We left the next morning for a long drive from Denver to McGregor, Iowa. We hit the worst possible weather conditions but we finally made it. We each got a few precious moments with her and made our peace. That night she fell asleep and she never regained consciousness. She died a few days later. I am still in shock by the surrealness of it all.
And now, just a few short weaks later, I am packing up my life to move. Not my choice, and terrible timing. It is amazing how much stuff I have to sort out, thin out, and pack up. I am looking toward the future and I am looking forward to living somewhere new and fresh. I need a clean break and a fresh start. I need a new perspective. I need to let the drama of the past few months slip away. I need to cultivate my secret garden, my own life, my own home, and learn to be myself again. I feel somehow lost, as if I have forgotten who I am and what is important to the true me. I will discover those important things over the next few months, living on my own, with my dog and my cat, in peace and in quite. Solitude.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Shutting out the world for an hour..Part One
Sometimes it takes everything I have to make it through the day. The last two months have been particularly challenging for me. I finished the bulk of college in December and am only taking two classes online this semester. Business Ethics and Entrepreneurship. Both are interesting but I am having difficulty finding the time and inspiration to do the work involved. Each class requires a half an hour on line each day at minimum. There are texts to read and papers to write. It doesn’t sound like a lot until it is combined with the rest of my schedule.
Knowing I would be graduating in May, I began looking for a job in November. I figured that in this recession and in my luxury goods field, that it would take me months to even get an interview. Well, I had six companies interested in the first week of my search. I was flattered and surprised. I quickly settled on three companies and began the in-depth interview process with each. Each company made me an offer. I carefully selected the best company for my current circumstances. A woman with whom I had wanted to work with for a long time recruited me. She gave me the difficult Boulder territory and I started with them on January 4th. That same day, she told me she was retiring at the end of the month. She knew it when she hired me but really wanted me on the team anyway. I was secretly devastated and may not have taken the job had I known. I wondered if I made a mistake. To top it off, the company had not found her replacement. To further complicate matters, the man I was replacing was promoted to DM in July so the territory was largely ignored for six months. This man was to take on the responsibilities of the woman who was leaving, train me, and do his own job. Poor guy. The downside is that my training was lack luster. I was hoping I had not been set up for failure.
In my fourth week of employment, I was required to give a “State of my territory” presentation to a panel comprised of the VP’s and CEO’s of my company. Each member of my six-man team were required to present. My presentation had nothing to do with me…as I was reporting on the previous year. (It had everything to do with me and how I would repair the broken territory.) The DM, who was responsible for that territory, did very little to assist me in the creation of the presentation. I actually had to call on the woman who hired me to help me find the information I needed. This was a source of extreme tension between the DM and myself. He basically dumped his failures in my lap. In the end, the presentation was a success, the panel was compassionate but firm, and I was able to convince them that I will do everything in my power to turn the territory around. I realized through my research that the territory is in much worse shape than had been revealed to me. Great.
I was having dinner in front of the tv after a very long day at the end of January when I heard the loudest crash and then screaming coming from the street outside my house. My roommate ran out and I followed, cell phone in hand. What I saw in the street shocked and amazed me. My Ford Explorer was attached to a Lincoln towncar by the grill and it had been pushed fifty feet down the block into yet another car. The driver of the towncar was desperately trying to free his car. People were in the street and my roommate was pounding on the driver’s side window trying to get the man to stop. He finally stopped and then he took off running. My roommate chased him down and the man along with his passenger and brother were all arrested. He got a DUI among the other charges. He had just been released from jail two days prior with yet another DUI.
The fire department and nine cops showed up. They were amazed at the sight of the wreckage. The man had wrecked into my roommates car, my car, and then used my car to wreck into yet another car. All of the cars were totaled.
This boded particularly well for me as I am required to drive to Boulder everyday for work carrying boxes of wine. Because of this requirement, I had just added full coverage insurance to my car when I accepted my new job. In fact, I just paid the bill a few days before the accident….
To my horror, the insurance company informed me that they had no record of the upgrade but had processed my ‘early payment.’ I had the bill in my hand and they said the burden of proof was on me. I am not in the habit of recording my telephone conversations so, obviously, I had no proof, and no full coverage. My car was a total loss unless I could track down the insurance for the towncar. Thankfully, the loser had a cheap policy and I would be getting some money, very little, but at least I got something.
As it goes, I am required to have a car for my new job. I drive, on average, 80 miles a day. I don’t really like driving and don’t really like cars but I have always wanted a Mini Cooper. My dad took me looking the day after my car was totaled. We had been looking at Mini’s before-it is something fun we do together. We looked at a few dealers and then as luck would have it, my dad found the perfect car in the web. But…more about that later…
Knowing I would be graduating in May, I began looking for a job in November. I figured that in this recession and in my luxury goods field, that it would take me months to even get an interview. Well, I had six companies interested in the first week of my search. I was flattered and surprised. I quickly settled on three companies and began the in-depth interview process with each. Each company made me an offer. I carefully selected the best company for my current circumstances. A woman with whom I had wanted to work with for a long time recruited me. She gave me the difficult Boulder territory and I started with them on January 4th. That same day, she told me she was retiring at the end of the month. She knew it when she hired me but really wanted me on the team anyway. I was secretly devastated and may not have taken the job had I known. I wondered if I made a mistake. To top it off, the company had not found her replacement. To further complicate matters, the man I was replacing was promoted to DM in July so the territory was largely ignored for six months. This man was to take on the responsibilities of the woman who was leaving, train me, and do his own job. Poor guy. The downside is that my training was lack luster. I was hoping I had not been set up for failure.
In my fourth week of employment, I was required to give a “State of my territory” presentation to a panel comprised of the VP’s and CEO’s of my company. Each member of my six-man team were required to present. My presentation had nothing to do with me…as I was reporting on the previous year. (It had everything to do with me and how I would repair the broken territory.) The DM, who was responsible for that territory, did very little to assist me in the creation of the presentation. I actually had to call on the woman who hired me to help me find the information I needed. This was a source of extreme tension between the DM and myself. He basically dumped his failures in my lap. In the end, the presentation was a success, the panel was compassionate but firm, and I was able to convince them that I will do everything in my power to turn the territory around. I realized through my research that the territory is in much worse shape than had been revealed to me. Great.
I was having dinner in front of the tv after a very long day at the end of January when I heard the loudest crash and then screaming coming from the street outside my house. My roommate ran out and I followed, cell phone in hand. What I saw in the street shocked and amazed me. My Ford Explorer was attached to a Lincoln towncar by the grill and it had been pushed fifty feet down the block into yet another car. The driver of the towncar was desperately trying to free his car. People were in the street and my roommate was pounding on the driver’s side window trying to get the man to stop. He finally stopped and then he took off running. My roommate chased him down and the man along with his passenger and brother were all arrested. He got a DUI among the other charges. He had just been released from jail two days prior with yet another DUI.
The fire department and nine cops showed up. They were amazed at the sight of the wreckage. The man had wrecked into my roommates car, my car, and then used my car to wreck into yet another car. All of the cars were totaled.
This boded particularly well for me as I am required to drive to Boulder everyday for work carrying boxes of wine. Because of this requirement, I had just added full coverage insurance to my car when I accepted my new job. In fact, I just paid the bill a few days before the accident….
To my horror, the insurance company informed me that they had no record of the upgrade but had processed my ‘early payment.’ I had the bill in my hand and they said the burden of proof was on me. I am not in the habit of recording my telephone conversations so, obviously, I had no proof, and no full coverage. My car was a total loss unless I could track down the insurance for the towncar. Thankfully, the loser had a cheap policy and I would be getting some money, very little, but at least I got something.
As it goes, I am required to have a car for my new job. I drive, on average, 80 miles a day. I don’t really like driving and don’t really like cars but I have always wanted a Mini Cooper. My dad took me looking the day after my car was totaled. We had been looking at Mini’s before-it is something fun we do together. We looked at a few dealers and then as luck would have it, my dad found the perfect car in the web. But…more about that later…
Friday, June 19, 2009
My life, as it is in Denver
A man recently told me that maybe Paris isn't good enough for me and maybe I should think about what I have had already in my life...maybe I should write about that...I have had a brilliant life, enough stories to to entertain for a while. I have lived fully and I have much to tell.
Maybe, I will take his advice and revisit the life I have had here in Denver..and...I will tell secrets I have never told.
Comment c'est que je peux tomber dans l'amour dans quelques jours ? Où est ma tête? C'est irrationnel, délicieux, et dangereux pour mon coeur. Mais ici je suis, désarmé et impuissant. Je suis sous le contrôle de quelque chose plus grand que ma propre volonté. Je suis changé et je ne serai jamais le même. Et J'ai félicité...
¿Cómo es que puedo enamorarme en unos pocos días? ¿ Dónde está la cabeza? Es irracional, delicioso, y peligroso para el corazón. Pero aquí soy, indefenso e impotente. Estoy bajo el control de algo más que mi propio hago. Soy cambiado y yo nunca seré lo mismo. Y soy feliz....
How is it that I can fall in love in a few days? Where is my head? It is irrational, delicious, and dangerous for my heart. But here I am, defenseless and helpless. I am under the control of something greater than my own will. I am changed and I will never be the same. And I am blissful....
Maybe, I will take his advice and revisit the life I have had here in Denver..and...I will tell secrets I have never told.
Comment c'est que je peux tomber dans l'amour dans quelques jours ? Où est ma tête? C'est irrationnel, délicieux, et dangereux pour mon coeur. Mais ici je suis, désarmé et impuissant. Je suis sous le contrôle de quelque chose plus grand que ma propre volonté. Je suis changé et je ne serai jamais le même. Et J'ai félicité...
¿Cómo es que puedo enamorarme en unos pocos días? ¿ Dónde está la cabeza? Es irracional, delicioso, y peligroso para el corazón. Pero aquí soy, indefenso e impotente. Estoy bajo el control de algo más que mi propio hago. Soy cambiado y yo nunca seré lo mismo. Y soy feliz....
How is it that I can fall in love in a few days? Where is my head? It is irrational, delicious, and dangerous for my heart. But here I am, defenseless and helpless. I am under the control of something greater than my own will. I am changed and I will never be the same. And I am blissful....
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Mon anniversaire et j’ai quarante ans
Sometimes such a small and thoughtful gesture means the world to me.
A few weeks ago, I celebrated my birthday. I hadn’t been really looking forward to it and just wanted to lay low. I didn’t feel the need to celebrate with a party, or a boozy night. I am too past that kind of thing…too old and it simply takes way too long to recover. I like clarity the next day, and energy!
My good friend Nina surprised me with a small gathering at one of my favorite restaurants the Saturday before the big day. I thought she and I were going to have dinner together but she surprised me by planning a surprise party for me…Michelle and Sophie couldn’t come and neither could my mom but Natasha was there and the three of us had a marvelous time drinking Rosé Champagne and dining very slowly over the course of several hours. French restaurant, French style.
My mother spent Sunday and most of Monday with me. Sunday night we watched the Oscars with take out Thai food and Riesling. On Monday, my birthday, we went shopping for my nephew and his birthday. We had lunch at whole foods. We ate birthday cake she had made for a surprise party she had planned for me that fell through with my niece and nephews…my lovely sister in law ruined it as she ruins nearly everything pertaining to me. The cake was from one of my all time favorite recipes. Laura Ingalls Wilder’s wedding cake. It is a dense, rich white cake flavored with rose water and almond. It is exquisite. It was a beautiful surprise. She gave me a funky business card holder and a pretty, little, stars and moon perfume bottle.
That evening I went to a fantastic women sommelier wine dinner at Rioja featuring Prosecco made by a family of women. The lady presenting was named Elvira and her wines were superb. She could barely speak English so her and I switched to French. It was easier than trying to understand two languages neither of us knew.
My father took me to dinner on Tuesday. We went to Café Brazil and had one of the best meals I have ever had in Denver. I had prawns and scallops with some wicked spicy sauce over fresh veggies and coconut scented rice. My dad had ahi tuna and shrimp with curry and rice. We drank caparhina, which is the Brazilian traditional drink. My dad can be sweet and we see eye to eye on moving to another country. After so many years of strained relations it turns out we have quite a bit in common.
This Saturday I am having yet another dinner with friends celebrating the occasion. I received thoughtful cards and tokens of affection from my friends. My roommate bought me the third season of SATC to replace my worn copy.
I received the most opulent, fussy, decadent bouquet of flowers from Yves….stargazer lilies, tulips, iris, gerbera daisies, and many other flowers. My entire house smells like a spring garden.
A few weeks ago, I celebrated my birthday. I hadn’t been really looking forward to it and just wanted to lay low. I didn’t feel the need to celebrate with a party, or a boozy night. I am too past that kind of thing…too old and it simply takes way too long to recover. I like clarity the next day, and energy!
My good friend Nina surprised me with a small gathering at one of my favorite restaurants the Saturday before the big day. I thought she and I were going to have dinner together but she surprised me by planning a surprise party for me…Michelle and Sophie couldn’t come and neither could my mom but Natasha was there and the three of us had a marvelous time drinking Rosé Champagne and dining very slowly over the course of several hours. French restaurant, French style.
My mother spent Sunday and most of Monday with me. Sunday night we watched the Oscars with take out Thai food and Riesling. On Monday, my birthday, we went shopping for my nephew and his birthday. We had lunch at whole foods. We ate birthday cake she had made for a surprise party she had planned for me that fell through with my niece and nephews…my lovely sister in law ruined it as she ruins nearly everything pertaining to me. The cake was from one of my all time favorite recipes. Laura Ingalls Wilder’s wedding cake. It is a dense, rich white cake flavored with rose water and almond. It is exquisite. It was a beautiful surprise. She gave me a funky business card holder and a pretty, little, stars and moon perfume bottle.
That evening I went to a fantastic women sommelier wine dinner at Rioja featuring Prosecco made by a family of women. The lady presenting was named Elvira and her wines were superb. She could barely speak English so her and I switched to French. It was easier than trying to understand two languages neither of us knew.
My father took me to dinner on Tuesday. We went to Café Brazil and had one of the best meals I have ever had in Denver. I had prawns and scallops with some wicked spicy sauce over fresh veggies and coconut scented rice. My dad had ahi tuna and shrimp with curry and rice. We drank caparhina, which is the Brazilian traditional drink. My dad can be sweet and we see eye to eye on moving to another country. After so many years of strained relations it turns out we have quite a bit in common.
This Saturday I am having yet another dinner with friends celebrating the occasion. I received thoughtful cards and tokens of affection from my friends. My roommate bought me the third season of SATC to replace my worn copy.
I received the most opulent, fussy, decadent bouquet of flowers from Yves….stargazer lilies, tulips, iris, gerbera daisies, and many other flowers. My entire house smells like a spring garden.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
An entire year of Happiness
It snowed all night long and this morning my world is covered in a gloriously sparkly white blanket of fluffy snow. Oscar and I stopped off for a coffee and then wandered through the quite campus searching for snow fairies or squirrels. He loves the snow and pranced along through the drifts occasionally biting at the snow as he swiftly moved along. As we walked, I cleared my head of any random thoughts and simply allowed the experience of the emerging sun and the shimmering snow to wash over me. It was refreshing and cleansing in a way. It gave me a sense of clarity about my life.
It has been a particularly trying couple of weeks with the end of the semester, finals, and planning for next semester. At this level it is increasingly difficult to create a workable schedule as fewer classes are offered, if they are even offered, at fewer times. I have been waiting for two semesters for a required French class only to find out that it is not going to be offered again. Sometimes, I feel as though I am being held hostage by the college. Don’t get me wrong…I love going to school and learning but the bureaucracy is very difficult to navigate. I feel very fortunate to have this opportunity, especially since I am developing my own individualized degree, but it has been tricky.
I found out yesterday that my internship was approved. The internship guidelines and requirements are a lot more structured than I expected. I must submit a packet of 60 pages of details, goals, and objectives at the beginning along with weekly emails, a final report and a grading schematic from Aaron and from myself…Wow…I hope Aaron will do all of this, he said he would, but, things tend to fall along the wayside around the place. Now I have to negotiate with Aaron to ensure I am able to get enough hours and the kind of stability needed to successfully complete this obligation.
I know he will see it my way…I know I can make this happen. It seems I can make anything happen lately, I have to work at it, it always takes time, and it is always a test, but in the end it happens the way I want it to. I guess the biggest obstacle is knowing exactly what I want and what I need and then going after that and making that happen….so often it is easy to bring things in without really thinking it through. Focusing on a job or a man or a pair of shoes that turns out to be unfulfilling, painful, and just the wrong fit.
As I look at the sparkling snow and the glistening sun I know what I don’t want. I don’t want any unnecessary drama at work, with love, or at home. This is the year I will streamline my life, get exactly what I want, and be very, very happy. I can bring that in and make it happen just as easily as I can create more drama or unhappiness…I choose HAPPY.
It has been a particularly trying couple of weeks with the end of the semester, finals, and planning for next semester. At this level it is increasingly difficult to create a workable schedule as fewer classes are offered, if they are even offered, at fewer times. I have been waiting for two semesters for a required French class only to find out that it is not going to be offered again. Sometimes, I feel as though I am being held hostage by the college. Don’t get me wrong…I love going to school and learning but the bureaucracy is very difficult to navigate. I feel very fortunate to have this opportunity, especially since I am developing my own individualized degree, but it has been tricky.
I found out yesterday that my internship was approved. The internship guidelines and requirements are a lot more structured than I expected. I must submit a packet of 60 pages of details, goals, and objectives at the beginning along with weekly emails, a final report and a grading schematic from Aaron and from myself…Wow…I hope Aaron will do all of this, he said he would, but, things tend to fall along the wayside around the place. Now I have to negotiate with Aaron to ensure I am able to get enough hours and the kind of stability needed to successfully complete this obligation.
I know he will see it my way…I know I can make this happen. It seems I can make anything happen lately, I have to work at it, it always takes time, and it is always a test, but in the end it happens the way I want it to. I guess the biggest obstacle is knowing exactly what I want and what I need and then going after that and making that happen….so often it is easy to bring things in without really thinking it through. Focusing on a job or a man or a pair of shoes that turns out to be unfulfilling, painful, and just the wrong fit.
As I look at the sparkling snow and the glistening sun I know what I don’t want. I don’t want any unnecessary drama at work, with love, or at home. This is the year I will streamline my life, get exactly what I want, and be very, very happy. I can bring that in and make it happen just as easily as I can create more drama or unhappiness…I choose HAPPY.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
La vie de mon chien
If you have a dog in Denver it’s almost as if you are a member of an exclusive club, and inner circle so to speak. I call these people the café group. On Saturday and Sunday mornings they are found filling up every street side café, coffee bar, breakfast joint, and restaurant scattered across Denver. Dogs are unofficially welcome on most restaurant patios and many downtown boutiques.
I take my little dog, Oscar, nearly everywhere with me. On Sunday mornings we walk across Auraria Campus, along the Cherry Creek path to Confluence Park and back to Larimer Square. It takes about an hour and by the time we get to The Market we both need a drink. I have a cappuccino and Oscar takes part in the communal doggie water bowl. He doesn’t really like to share his bowl with other dogs.
Larimer And Writer’s Squares, between 14th and 16th on Larimer Street, are the prettiest areas in downtown Denver. They are lined with original buildings dating back to the birth of Denver in the 1800’s. The squares are filled with cool restaurants, boutiques, galleries, and the occasional nightclub.
The Market has been on Larimer Square for nearly 30 years. It is a European style café and deli with a great coffee bar. The food is kind of like the food your grandmother would have prepared for your summer family reunion…the ultimate comfort picnic food. They have a large sandwich board and the baristas make cappuccinos with the swirly foam art on top. Very pretty. There are always stacks of New York Times or magazines to read, and the people watching is fantastic. There is an intellectual cosmopolitan edge to the clientele. Now that downtown is brimming with residents the Market has a more prenentious slant that comes with baby boomer wealth, than it had in the past. It used to be intellectual and artistic seedy. I loved it, and I still do…but, it is different.
Oscar and I walk the by Market a few times a week for a coffee and on Sundays we sit and watch the people and watch the world go by.
I take my little dog, Oscar, nearly everywhere with me. On Sunday mornings we walk across Auraria Campus, along the Cherry Creek path to Confluence Park and back to Larimer Square. It takes about an hour and by the time we get to The Market we both need a drink. I have a cappuccino and Oscar takes part in the communal doggie water bowl. He doesn’t really like to share his bowl with other dogs.
Larimer And Writer’s Squares, between 14th and 16th on Larimer Street, are the prettiest areas in downtown Denver. They are lined with original buildings dating back to the birth of Denver in the 1800’s. The squares are filled with cool restaurants, boutiques, galleries, and the occasional nightclub.
The Market has been on Larimer Square for nearly 30 years. It is a European style café and deli with a great coffee bar. The food is kind of like the food your grandmother would have prepared for your summer family reunion…the ultimate comfort picnic food. They have a large sandwich board and the baristas make cappuccinos with the swirly foam art on top. Very pretty. There are always stacks of New York Times or magazines to read, and the people watching is fantastic. There is an intellectual cosmopolitan edge to the clientele. Now that downtown is brimming with residents the Market has a more prenentious slant that comes with baby boomer wealth, than it had in the past. It used to be intellectual and artistic seedy. I loved it, and I still do…but, it is different.
Oscar and I walk the by Market a few times a week for a coffee and on Sundays we sit and watch the people and watch the world go by.
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